The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, making love carries tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

But when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though news often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar