The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, making love brings enormous meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, well-being, and love .

However when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in city locations, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Many gay men want to discover from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon Click This Link sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with common read the article sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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