The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, best site love, wellness, and closeness .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay males desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a hop over to here given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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