The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which Read More Here makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Many gay men wish to discover from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going hop over to these guys to be great?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to view it now stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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